Yesterday

I never did get a chance to post my weekly weigh-in yesterday because the kids and I were at Adventure Island most of the day. There wasn’t much to post anyway. I weighed in at 1%3.4, the same as last week. Of course, this morning I weighed in again.. and was at 1%2.8 - I know it doesn’t count, but I thought that my weight would be up a little on Tuesday morning because we ended up having pizza for dinner on Monday night. Bad idea the day before weigh-in. We were supposed to have a healthy grilled meal, but sometime life just gets in the way of eating better, I have to work a little harder at that!

My main thing now is not eating because of anxiety. My hubby is one of those people who never plans things out, but always knows it will work. He’s never been wrong, but really - does that sound like a legitimate way to live? It’s amazing, we joke that he lives in PeterWorld - some fictionalized fantasy world where five minutes longer for something you want to do is two hours later and I’ll get to it later means it will magicially be done by itself!!! The weirdest part of all is that it’s a wonderful place to live. He’s been so calm through the house selling issues and everything, but I’m always worried anyway. He already knows when his last day of work is here, but we still haven’t even sold the house… that just makes me a little nervous, but somehow he’s right, it’ll all work out for the best. I just don’t have any vision, I see here and now.

So, because of life I tend to want to EAT - maybe that’s why I’m losing weight so slowly, but I suppose anything is a step in the right direction. I just need to keep on trying and see what next week brings.

The quick dollar

I have to vent… this is now the second set of people looking at our house this weekend, and we have not gotten a call from our realtor letting us know anyone was coming! Yesterday caught me completely unawares. I had made a pan of ziti for friends of ours who are new parents as of Tuesday (congrats Roger & Elizabeth), so there were dishes from that in the sink. My son’s bed wasn’t made, there were toys out and I hadn’t vacuumed yet. Not a huge deal, but in a buyer’s market you want your home to be perfect. It can’t look cluttered, it should be as open as possible and it definitely needs to be CLEAN!!! Today wasn’t as bad. There were no dishes in the sink and the beds were made, but there are always toys around (hard not to have them around with a four year old and a six month old), and I like to put away certain baby things so the house seems more open. Oh well, the couple liked it - I think - but said they couldn’t fit their huge sectional in our living room. I felt like saying “yeah, that’s one thing we hate about this house to”, but that probably wouldn’t help us sell the house. Jess was also sleeping in our room, and the master is one of the biggest sellers for most people, so that was a negative. The realtor told me that the house showed great even if we weren’t ready for them, so hopefully both couples will feel the same. Sell that sectional and buy something smaller!!!

In the meantime, I now feel like the house should be ready for a showing every moment of every day, seeing as we can’t depend on our realtor to give us a call and let us know. That is going to freak me out. And now, I’m more sure than ever that our realtor is just out for the quick dollar. He does nothing but call us to let us know that someone is coming to show the house, and now not even that! I suppose he figured coming over and sticking a sign in our yard was the only thing he should have to do in order to earn that inordinate amount of money realtor’s get.

Questions

I’m having a bad couple days.  Not sure what triggered the switch, but I just started to feel less excited about losing weight.  Well, actually that’s not true.  I’m excited to lose weight, I just feel less excited about the work it’ll take and the length of time it’ll be before I even get to my first goal.  If I lose a pound a week from the start, then it’s probably safe to assume that it won’t be more as time goes on.  Don’t you tend to lose more in the beginning of a diet?  Which would make it logical to assume that you then lose less as time goes on, right?  I see everyone doing so well - and CONGRATS to all, but it makes me wonder if that doesn’t mean I’m doing something wrong.  So many people say, “I only lost one pound this week”…  does that mean one pound isn’t so great?  Should I be losing more?  How much more?

It’s just been a more difficult week.  I’m an emotional eater.  If something stresses me, I want to eat.  We are trying to sell the house, and Pete’s been great.  Originally, he wanted out so bad that I was worried for him that the house would take a while to sell.  Now, I find myself wanting to be done selling the house regardless of the fact that he has found peace with the amount of time it will take.  And this week I’ve had a harder time finding the time to exercise like I want to.  It really is a great way to get rid of excess stress.  I’m just disappointed with myself, and want to hear what helps everyone else through bad days.

Down Again

Well, the official weigh-in puts me at 1%3.4 - down exactly one pound from last week. I’m okay with that. To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I consistently lost any weight, be it 1/2 pound or 5 pounds for more than one week. That’s my average timeframe for ‘dieting’. “I lost weight this week, well great - bring on the food next week!”

One difference is being part of the diet. I know that there are people reading about my loss or gain, and that is a huge motivator. Not one person may actually care, but knowing that anyone could find out I failed leaves little butterflies in my stomach… No idea why that is, but hey, if it works - GREAT. Another difference is my frame of mind. I really want this for myself. I like feeling better and exercising and looking better. These are good things! I’m also not approaching this as a diet, but more of a life change.

My in-laws were down for a long weekend, and I was worried I wouldn’t lose any weight because my exercise schedule was all off. Since I was too embarrassed to pull out the Tae Bo tape during the day with them here, I tried swimming at night. It turns out that swimming at night is much better exercise than I expected. I love night swimming. It burns the calories, and the kids are in bed so it’s quiet and peaceful… I think I may have just changed around my routine. I recommend it to anyone that can do it. Obviously, it’s much easier if you have a pool and live in a year round warmer climate, but if not maybe a gym with a pool? Anyway, exercise in any form is always a mood lifter, I think.

I hope for many more weeks like this…

Baby steps

Well, this is my first week weigh-in as part of the diet. 1%4.4 - there I got the actual number part of this over with (sort of), so I lost 1.4 pounds. I wanted to join ediets.com and had said something about that in another blog, but when I tried they ask you a whole list of questions. One of them was: Are you pregnant or breastfeeding? My daughter just turned six months on saturday, and will be nursing for at least another six months. So, obviously I said yes and it took me to another screen that said I could either change my answer (why would I lie to a screen?) or I couldn’t join-up. As it is, I didn’t join.

But it did get me thinking. I gave birth six months, four days and about 5 1/2 hours ago… A few hours before I went into labor I was at the midwife’s office and weighed-in. I was 27 pounds heavier than when I first got pregnant (I lost five pounds the first month of my pregnancy then gained that back plus the 27, but that’s not really the point :)). I had a 9 1/2 pound baby girl the next morning and at my one week check up was back down the 27 pounds I had gained. Now six months later I’m down another 10.8 pounds. I just say all this to make my 1.4 pound loss feel more significant, but I really do have to lose this weight slowly. I know I’m making excuses to feel better about it, but it’s working! For now, I’m Jess’ main source of nutrition (she’s having breakfast as I write this) - so there is no slim fast for me or appetite suppressants or any of the stuff I really want to do to help!!

I have started exercising, though. The house hasn’t been perfect, and sometimes I don’t get around to cleaning it all, but my kids are happy and I’m putting something that makes me happy in the must do list each day. And Pete’s been supportive of it. Sometimes I get the feeling he looks around and wonders why I can’t manage to get it all done, but he’s been biting his tounge! Thanks babe. And I’m excited to fit a little better in my clothes - exercise is a wonderful thing.

And as I take baby steps to get to my goal, I find great inspiration…

My First Weigh-in

I am not a fan of failing. I think I’ve been so reluctant to join The Diet because of that. If you don’t try you can’t fail, right? Of course, that’s not true though. If you don’t try, you essentially fail everyday you haven’t tried - you fail yourself. My mom once told me that most thin people put themselves first. Does hearing that make you cringe? It did me. The thought of putting myself first is unthinkable!!! That’s why I really need to. What mother, wife or friend isn’t better for it if they take care of themselves? Have you ever been on a plane ride and been told that should there be an emergency you need to put that oxygen mask on yourself first and then the people around you (if they need your help)? That two second blurb by an airline attendant is so poetic if you think about it. Take care of yourself and you can do so much more for those around you. Putting yourself first isn’t a bad thing, it can actually make you happier, calmer, more content. Isn’t that what we want? And won’t that make me better at the roles in my life that I’ve alway found to be more important then breathing?

Okay, enough stalling. My weight going into this isn’t something I want to post. When I get where I want to be I still don’t know if I want to post my weight! I’ve never taken actual numbers to mean very much anyway - it’s about feeling good about myself, being healthy and keeping my family healthy… Initial weigh-in is 1%5.8 (I’ve changed the middle number to protect the innocent!), and my goal is 15.8 pounds to start. When I get there I’ll reevaluate how I feel and make a new goal for myself.

I’m thinking this will be a slow process. I’ve started up my exercise routine again and it’s so nice. I really missed exercising (haven’t done much since the last couple months of my pregnancy or since my daughter was born - she’s now almost six months old). I have made some progress pre- diet just from trying to eat a little better. I’m about 9 pounds less then what I was at right before I got pregnant with Jess. Seeing that has also been a motivator for joining the dieters.

So, I barrel in head first and hope it ends well!

The Next Chapter

I got a call from our realtor today telling me that someone wanted to come see the house in a half an hour. He wanted to know if there would be a problem… Of course 30 minutes is no time at all to make sure the house is ready, let alone enough time to get myself, Peter Zachary and Jess ready - BUT who would say no to a chance to sell a house you want out of?

Fortunately, the house is kept relatively ready at all times, perfect for those unexpected visitors - and all I had to do for us was throw on something acceptable for myself, change Jess' diaper and get Peter's shoes on. The rest is the hard part, if you ask me. As inconvienient as it may be to get 'kicked out' of your house, that's easy. Waiting for THE BUYER is what drives you nuts. You know who I'm talking about, THE BUYER - the person who will look at your house, make a full price offer, love every imperfection the house has and help your life move on to the next chapter (okay, so maybe that's not actually what the buyer will be like, but can't a girl hope).

We're in limbo, and I hate limbo. We make no plans past next week. We have no one coming to visit since we don't know where we'll be in two months (if we're here then no one can come because the house must look impecable and if we're not then a flight to Florida would be a waste, don't you think), and we just sit here and wait and wait and wait. Then there is the emotional roller coster you go through selling a house that you're going to miss. I initially get so excited when someone is coming to see the house. I think, let this be it - BUY MY HOUSE. Then Peter makes some comment about how he doesn't want us to sell the house (or he doesn't and I just think about it), and I get so sad thinking about leaving and never being in this house again. My son doesn't remember any other home and my daughter was born here, literally. Not here like as in Florida, here like as in right in the kid's playroom. This is my first home, and I'll miss everyone in Florida. But I know once it's over with I'll be busy getting ready to move. Packing up and then going north to see everyone for a few weeks will be so nice before we even get to North Carolina. Plus Pete is so miserable in this heat, I don't blame him for wanting out. And the unknown is so much more exciting then the mundane existence of everyday.

Yep, it's time for the next chapter. So, come on BUYER - find me.

First Blog

I am new to this and can't imagine people reading anything I might randomly say… but I did just spend the last hour w/ my husband getting this thing started, so I will see how it goes. It's now about midnight and seeing how I will probably be up to nurse my daughter in about an hour or two I will keep this short. I've decided to start the diet that the whole world has seemed to get involved w/ thanks inpart to my brother-in-law. It's a motivator to diet w/ others. When others suffer w/ you, you think less of your own hunger! I can't even think about before pictures or posting my weight - I'm w/ Eliza about releasing numbers only when the end number has been reached. But for now I'll say I'd like to lose about 20 plus pounds, maybe more - I have to see what I look like when I get there. Pete and I both took the diet channel test to see what kind of dieters we are and we both came up w/ the high fiber diet as being best for us, so we might join e-diet's too and see what they suggest. Doing this together will make life so much easier…